Hey God... Hello?
Hello?
God...?
Wait, I hear You.
No, actually You seem to be breaking up.
There must be something wrong with the connection...
Hello?
God?
I watched the Passion of the Christ a week ago. I hadn't seen in in a few years. And I sobbed for two hours. It is a powerful movie. As I watched my Savior take my beatings, take my ridicule, take my punishment, carry my cross, and bleed for me, I could hardly bare the sorrow.
I repented of sins long forgotten. I was heartbroken that I could have forgotten so easily just how much my Savior endured for me.
I'm no better at this than anyone else. I'm no saint. Just a sinner saved by grace. I fall. I sin. I screw it up.
But God is faithful. He's there to pick me up and dust me off when I repent.
But as of late, I feel like God is distant. I've always heard that when you feel like God is distant, then look around. You're the one who has moved.
Maybe I did move. Took the wrong path. Skipped off the straight and narrow. I don't know.
I've been asking God to give me the answer to my question about Protestantism vs. Catholicism. Is one right and the other wrong? Are they both right? Or by some crazy chance, are they both wrong? I have been so confused as of late.
I've been wondering, have I been looking at things the wrong way all along? Did I miss something? Is it about more faith, less legalism? Or about more legalism, less faith?
But then that doesn't seem right.
Jesus came to build the bridge. The gap between humans and God. So why the need for a Pope?
But then again, it seems that all denominations of Protestantism have taken some things too far... Like speaking in tongues... Or believing in the gift of healing to the point of not believing in doctors.
So where's the answer? On both hands you've got the same God. Same Jesus.
But a lot of doctrine thrown around, shoved down throats, and bashed agaisnt the hard-headed.
I don't think this is what Christ had in mind for His hands and feet. The world is looking at us and watching. They want to know where the difference is. Just how powerful is this God that we believe in?
Sure we wear the t-shirts and have the fish stickers on our bumpers... We can all talk the talk.
But what about the walk? What about the everyday, in and out, fight to lay down ourselves at the foot of the cross?
What about the fruit of the Spirit?
How do we show the world Jesus, when we're all too busy fighting amongst ourselves to shine the light?
And has anyone ever seen godhatesfags.com? Excuse me... But Jesus got up on that cross for those same "fags" as for you and me! What has happened to the church?
I've been told I was going to hell because I wear pants, because I wear make-up, because I don't speak in tongues, because I cut my hair, because my parents are divorced.
Thank you very much, Church. Is that what you call yourselves?
Condemning everything I do and don't do. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it.
So I pray, "God, if I'm wrong show me. Show me! Are you gonna turn me away because of what I wear, because I can't speak in some crazy blah blah nonsensical language, or because I couldn't help the fact that my parents didn't want to stay married? Am I cursed for all eternity?"
I thought He smashed all that trivial stuff to the grave 2,000 years ago on a cross? But apparently, the majority doesn't agree with me.
I'm no biblical scholar. But I am 100 percent sure of my Savior. That, is my only anchor in this storm. I can't see my hand in front of my face.
It's that dark.
I believe abortion is wrong. More than wrong, it's murder. I practice my right to vote and try to vote in men and women who will uphold morals. Abortion seems like a black and white issue to me.
And to me, the Bible's stance on homosexuality is black and white.
But what about other things that the Bible is not so clear on?
What about something as simple as birth control? Or in ventro fertilization?
What about those?
If birth control is a sin, am I going to hell?
Is God going to condemn me for seeking medical help that saved my life, while endometriosis was trying to take over my insides?
And estrogen was trying to kill me?
What in the world do I do now?
I've got one hand on the cross and and the other outstretched, waiting.
For what, I do not know.
Will answers come?
I don't know.
Will God leave me in the dark?
I don't know.
All I know, Friends, is this: Jesus chose the cross for you. There's power and forgiveness and love there. I may not have all the answers, but I can point you to the One who does.
You've got nothing to lose.
I don't for one minute believe my God has abandoned me. Letting me learn some hard lessons? Yes.
Staying silent, so that I seek Him more fervently? Yes.
But abandoned me?
No. And that's all I've got left to hang onto.
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." -C. S. Lewis
(Note: The above picture breaks my Savior's heart, of this I am sure. I am in NO way supporting the radical baptist church.)
16 Back Talkers:
Have you ever heard of carm.org?
It is a very, very helpful website that offers a lot of answers about almost anything you may want to ask about the Christian faith. Some of the things you mentioned for example: birth control, catholic information, etc.
No I hadn't, Aaron. Thanks so much. I will most definatly check it out.
All I know is this:
My Savior died for me. I believe he saved me and forgives my sins. I strive to be like him and fail often, but he loves me anyway.
Any other doctrine apart from that is just there to make people look "smart" and "educated." But Christianity is as simple as that. People choose to complicate it and goodie for them. But I have confidence, 100% confidence, that God loves me without all these big fancy words or a Pope or whatever.
Jesus saves. The end.
And heck, if birth control were condemnation, then that defeats the purpose of Christianity.
There are no "conditions" to Christianity other than believing that Christ is the way. There are no questions in it. "IF I use birthcontrol am I going to hell?" "IF I get drunk, am I doomed?" The only way you are not saved is if you don't cling to the cross. God wants us to take confidence in our salvation, and if we question everything as a possible damnation, where is our confidence?
Oh lady, you could make yourself crazy with these questions (and I HAVE made myself crazy with them in the past!) Keep talking to Him though, and trying your best to walk beside Him; the rest you will figure out when the time is right.
You are saved by your belief in Christ. If you want reputable, reliable information about the Catholic Church, you should consult with a member of the Catholic Clergy or the Atlanta Archdiocese rather than the fringe that is out there blogging. http://www.archatl.com/
With in vitro fertilization,doctors cannot guarantee a successful pregnancy with only one embryo so multiple embryos are created. Those that are not needed are frozen. These human beings are essentially abandoned. This is why embryonic stem cell research is so controversial. Some argue that these "extra" embryos should be available for scientific research.
Thanks to your questions, I'm thinking of writing a post on artificial birth control.
I suspect if Jesus came down to earth today, he'd turn around and go back.
(For the record, I support everybody's rights...even the right to be stupid.) Amen
"I've been told I was going to hell because I wear pants, because I wear make-up, because I don't speak in tongues, because I cut my hair, because my parents are divorced."
it's funny how the issues you have raised come up in Islam as well.
Don't believe what others tell you. They don't know more than you do. Ask God. He's always there. Anything you're unsure about, just ask him. He'll show you the way.
AS a muslim, I've heard of people getting told that they are going to hell because they were pants, or makeup or some ridiculous things like that. I don't think God would punish for trying to save your life.
I too feel like God is distant and has been for the past year or two. I no longer have the faith I used to have and I want it back. I screwed up so much I feel liek going back to him would be pointless because I'm not worthy of him.
But as long as I'm alive, that means I've got another chance. It's never too late to repent. Never too late to seek him, to find him. Hang in there. As long as you keep yourself these questions, you know you're on the right track :)
Amanda, God bless you. You're totally on the right track girl, and so faithful in it. Very few people are as pure as you are.
Being a Muslim I can relate to your stance on religion, since Christianity and Islam, essentially feed off the same value principles.
I love the way you are. Be this way, always. I hope you have the best life and hereafter.
If only picking your way down the path of life was easy right? In my humble opionion, the choice of religious path to follow should be whatever makes you feel "right" with the world. It souldn't be based on what anyone else thinks is right. It isn't how you get there that matters, it is just that you get there.
Wow. Very powerful stuff you write, I must say. It's amazing how sometimes it takes something so almost seemingly insignificant, like watching a movie you haven't seen in awhile, to stir up profound renewal in yourself and your life.
I've never actually watch The Passion Of The Christ, though. I've heard it is excellent, but I've just never gotten around to seeing it.
Fantastic and courageous post Amanda. I appreciate your honesty.
I would add that the "self-titled" Baptist church that you refer to (at least with the photo) is nothing more than a cult. It is a shame that many people I know have difficulty separating the cults from the Christian churches.
this was so great, Amanda! so many people get caught up in the legalism for themselves, but even more harmfully, to judge others. so glad that you shared this!
I admire your heart here, Amanda.
Remember: His law is Love and his gospel, Peace.
Anytime Love and Peace are gone, you can be sure Christ isn't present. That's my take, anyway.
i'm really glad you posted this. i have most the same view on everything. and i think the church has got it all wrong lately; it just sucks that it has to cause people doubt that Christ exists or loves them.
you're awesome.
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